So. Donald Trump is our President-Elect. Despite Hillary Clinton winning the popular vote, Donald Trump won the electoral college. The electoral college is important, even though it is also somewhat infuriating, and Donald "Grab em by the pussy" Trump won it.
And for a lot of us, that sucks. Really hard.
I have so many feelings on the outcome of this election- on what it means to be a woman in this country, on what kind of world I have brought two more young women into... But this post is not going to be about that. This post is going to be about how I've been handling the trauma; how I've been treating my depression and the self-care I've been using to cope. While I'm feeling much better on day 11 than I was on day 1, I'd still love to read how others are taking care of themselves during this difficult time. Here's how it's gone for me.
First, I cried.
Day 1 in "Trump's America" I cried. I cried a lot. I woke up early to confirm the worst, and I sat in my recliner downstairs and cried while the girls slept. It was one of those moments where my heart literally ached, and I let myself feel it. I cried. I made coffee, and cried again. I sat in Joey (my awesome feminist husband)'s lap and cried. I let the tears flow.
Then I went to the zoo! Joey and I packed up the girls and spent 4 hours looking at animals, smelling fresh air, and riding trains and carousels. It was a nice distraction, and we got to see the cutest little penguin! Check out @balancing_imbalance on instagram to see the lil' guy. You wont regret it.
Next, I broke my facebook rule.
I'm not sure I've mentioned it here before, but in 2016 I had two NY resolutions. 1: read as many Stephen King books as possible (I'm on #11!) 2: Limit my facebook time to Sundays only. And so far, I've stuck to that rule pretty strictly! I popped in on special occasions for announcements and such, but generally I only logged in on Sundays. It did amazing things for my mental health.
But after the election, I needed support.
So I allowed myself to break the rule, because I found the facebook group Pantsuit Nation to be extremely beneficial. It was, and is, a huge network of like-minded people that helped me feel less alone. I've since joined Oklahoma Pantsuit Nation and Tulsa-Metro Pantsuit Nation, and seeing the posts and kinship has been so lovely. If you're in need of a community of safe,like-minded friends, I highly recommend looking into the Pantsuit Nation groups for your area.
Then, I crafted.
After I saw an article about the safety pins, I made myself one with green and purple seed beads (the colors of the suffragettes). I then offered to make as many as I had materials for, and to send them to friends and members of Pantsuit Nation. I made 37 total, and will be sending them out as soon as I find my stamps!
I made use of my Talkspace
I have an account with Talkspace and boy, did I use it. I reached out to my therapist Amy, and we have had some really good back-and-fourth. I have a whole post planned for telling you about Talkspace and how much I love it, so I'll save most of my spiel for then. But man. It was so nice to be able to reach out to my therapist as soon as I needed her. Which happened to be at 1:30 am on election night. I'm still learning Square Space, but if I knew how to insert that teary-eyed-laughing emoji here, I would.
I'm writing a letter to my daughters.
So much of the pain I feel is wrapped up in my girls. My first post on Wednesday morning was:
"I was supposed to be able to look Lyra and Lux in the eye and say "You really can be anything you want to be," and believe it when I said it."
I want them to know that I am on their side. I want them to know how much the sexism that played into this election broke my heart. I want them to have a piece of this historical time. So, I took pen to paper. I plan on giving it to them when they inevitably come across this election in their future history classes.
I am making plans...
The best thing to come from this election, in my opinion, is the fire it seems to have lit under our asses. I know so many people who have set up monthly donations, are planning peaceful protests, have been calling their congressmen, etc. And it. is. inspiring.
I have also been making plans, and I am more than ready to take on these next years with all the passion and furiosity I can manage.
How are you doing?
I know not all my readers will be liberal. I know some of them will probably think this is all just dramatic and silly. That's fine.
But to those of you who feel hurt, angry, and just down-right sad... how are you doing? What self-care steps are you taking to lift yourself up during this tumultuous time? How are you? I'd love to hear.
Until next time, namaste.